09 March 2010

I Always Lose An Argument

"I never lose an argument; even when I'm wrong."

I've heard the above saying many times. I even had the same attitude myself; although, I was never so bold to  state it out load. Over many years of reflection, I now have a different attitude, which I sum up with the following words:

"I always lose an argument; even when I'm right. I never lose a discussion, unless it turns into an argument."

I should clarify. I'm not using the word argument in the philosophical sense, but in the worldly sense of a confrontation. Disagreements and corrections can be discussed, and a solution where there are no losers can be reached, but when a discussion turns into an argument (confrontation), even the party that is right loses because of bad feelings.

I don't mind being wrong in a discussion because I can become a better person once I am corrected. In an argument, however, the confrontation makes me feel ill, and I feel like the loser regarudless of if I am right or wrong. I find no consolation in being right when an issue cannot be calmly discussed.

Sometimes one has to engage in confrontation. I dread the very thought. Nevertheless, when it's necessary, I pray that any arguments turn in to discussions. An argument that turns into a discussion really isn't an argument anymore.