05 December 2014

I Saw Santa Punching Arius

It is the eve of the Feast of Saint Nicholas. To celebrate, I just posted a new video of a song I recorded yesterday.

Troparion, Tone 4: The truth of your deeds made you for your flock a rule of faith* and an image of meekness,* a teacher of continence.* And so you gained the heights through humility,* riches through poverty,* father and bishop Nicholas.* Intercede with Christ our God* for the salvation of our souls.

I saw Santa punching Arius

I saw Santa punching Arius
in the council chambers at Nicaea.

He just couldn’t stand
to hear the heretic expand
his theory how Our Blessed Lord
was not much more than just a man.

Then I saw Santa grabbing Arius
by the beard to pull him off his chair.
The other bishops were justified,
in assuming this was undignified
throwing Santa in a cell for the night.

I saw Jesus and His Mother
come to Santa praying in his chains.

Christ asked, “Why are you here?”
“All for my love of You.”
Off fell the chains and to him was given
the pallium and the Gospels.

St. Nick went back up to the chamber
amazing everyone at the sight.
They said, “It must have been righteous anger!”
“It is Arius we must excommunicate.”
“The Son is consubstantial with the Father.”