I came across an article on CatholicLink called 15 Typical Catholic Reactions to 15 Typical Phrases that We Typically Don’t Want to Hear. For the most part, I don’t mind hearing these phrases. However, if the person is making them in a particularly nasty way, there is a possibility I won’t sugar coat my answer. Actually, most likely I will sugar coat it, but these are the underlying ideas that may not be apparent in my words:
1. Why do I have to go to confession if I am going to sin again and the priest is a sinner too?
So you’re not even interested in making an attempt to stop sinning?
2. This is a Pope I can finally like!
Regardless of personality or opinion, through Papal Infallibility the Holy Spirit will prevent any pope from officially teaching anything other than the same Catholic doctrine that has been taught for the last 2000 years.
3. I find God in nature, not in a church building…
Oh, are you a pantheist? You are partially right, but there is more of God in you than in the rest of nature. However, the fullness of God’s presence is in heaven, and a church is heaven on earth.
4. Four kids? You know they have a procedure for that…
Are you saying you approve of the mutilation of sexual organs? Or, are you saying I should have killed one or more of my children?
5. Why did the Catholic Church add books to the Bible?
Do you know why the Jews abandoned the Septuagint after the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 A.D. and returned to a strictly Hebrew canon that evolved into the Masoretic Text from the 7th to 11th centuries? To distance themselves from the Christians. Why do you distance yourself from Christians like the Jews who rejected Jesus?
6. No one should be forced to believe in anything. It’s wrong to baptize babies, they should be allowed to choose when they are old enough…
Is it wrong to force a baby to learn to talk? Is it wrong to force a baby to learn to eat?
7. Finally! The Church is moving with the times!
When it comes to time, the Church is in καιρός, not χρόνος. Χρόνος moves because it’s finite. The concept of movement doesn’t apply to καιρός because it’s infinite.
8. Why do Catholics worship images and Mary?
What definition of “worship” are you using? You may use the Greek or the Latin.
9. Why does the Church oppress women and prevent them from becoming priests?
Why does biology oppress men and prevent them from becoming mothers? Think about it. When a child is conceived, the man is not present. Only the Holy Spirit is present with the woman. The Holy Spirit breathes the breath of life into what the body of the man contributed to the body of the woman, and he or she becomes a living soul. What greater dignity could be given to a created being? Do you want to take away the only thing men can do that women can’t, but doesn’t even come close to what only women can do? Besides, man was created to serve woman so the priesthood is beneath the dignity of women.
10. You only say that because you are Catholic…
And your religion isn’t meaningful enough so that it shapes everything you do and say?
11. Women have the right to choose what happens to their bodies…
So do men. Let’s let both of them live long enough so that they have a chance to make some choices about their bodies.
12. We have to live together first so we know if we are compatible for marriage…
Did you know that one of the leading causes of suicide is the breakup of a sexual relationship?
13. Why doesn’t the Church accept people with same-sex attractions?
The Church accepts everyone. Not everyone accepts the Church. Being sexually attracted to someone of the same sex is not sinful. It is biologically disordered, but it is not sinful. Acting on that attraction is sinful, but no more sinful than acting on an attraction to a persons of the opposite sex who you’re not married to. Marriage is for eternity, although you’re free to marry again if your spouse dies. (Of course, if you emphasize procreation rather than unity, such as the Western Church, marriage ends at death.) Anything before or in addition to that is adultery, which is sinful, but no more sinful than two persons of the same sex attempting to do something similar. Anything similar to sex, but does not have the potential for procreation, is also just as sinful, even between a married couple. Remember, God can miraculously made a woman fertile when there should be no potential for procreation, but there are so many biological factors involved that it would be impossible to prove it’s a miracle.
14. You’re just Catholic because you were brought up Catholic…
I wasn’t brought up Catholic, and if you experienced what I experience in the Catholic Church…
15. And finally, all those phrases that start with: “I am Catholic but…”
St. Francis of Assisi used to refer to his body as Brother Ass to describe his penitential disciplines and humility, but he was referring to a donkey, not a butt. Why do you say you’re a Catholic butt?